Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I deserve to be covered in dicks
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
We need to get me chipped asap
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
