High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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