i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize