I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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