KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
