ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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