D3 body, D1 cock
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
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