We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
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