I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
