dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
