So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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