Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Randomize
