im gay
i know
yea but for you.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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