We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize