Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
