I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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