i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Send help, water and tortillas.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Randomize
