I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
