i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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