I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
