but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
