I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
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