We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
