that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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