porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
