I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
