so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
