honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
We are all done wearing pants today
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize
