Yo dont text me then not text me
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
