I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
