how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
