So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
