Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize
