I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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