so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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