i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
