Life is so much better after having sex.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
