i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
