I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I need to align my fucking chakras
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
