I need help removing her.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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