Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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