Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Randomize
