the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
