he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize