can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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