So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
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