thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
