Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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