...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
