yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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