I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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