East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
