I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
