so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
