Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Randomize
