all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
