there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
