Well apparently he's into motor boating.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
