Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
